How I am now

life after social anxiety

In an earlier post I described, how it felt for me to have social anxiety. Now I would like to write about how I feel now, after having overcome it.

First of all, let me tell you, that the transition was very GRADUAL. It didn’t happen overnight, over a week, or over a few months. There are subtle changes in you, that build on previous subtle changes, and it HAS to take some time. But because of the lengthiness of that process, the end result feels solid and you feel grounded in the new reality.

So how does it feel to be me now? Simply said: F-ING AMAZING!! I do all the stuff I always wanted to do and more, have a circle of friends (I never really had any), go to parties with excitement at the thought of meeting new people, regularly travel and explore new places (a complete novum for me), am confident in my workplace and ready to take on new challenges and develop professionally, started dating women and having romantic relationships (didn’t even dream about this one).

If you’d want to put all of the above into one word – I’m happy.  When I look into myself, I feel deep satisfaction, contentment, a sense of calm and self-confidence. It doesn’t mean I don’t get stressed out anymore, but even when I do, I know I can cope with it, that I will handle the stressful situation without the emotional shitstorm that I used to experience in such cases.

I think the best indication of my transformation is the way I smile.

Back when I had social phobia I didn’t smile, didn’t like to smile and I even thought I couldn’t smile properly. I thought I was somehow broken in this respect and that smiling wasn’t for me. I would of course smile in social situations but it felt wrong and forced and it probably looked that way.

Now I feel smiling is a part of me, I can do it even in stressful situations or when I’m mentally thrown out of balance. You can imagine how much I must have changed, if I tell you that I have had strangers telling me I had a nice smile! For a guy who didn’t like to look at his own photos, that’s just incredible…

In the next couple of posts I’m going to focus on how I went about tackling my social anxiety, so stay tuned!


  1. Ali

    February 13, 2015 at 8:09 am

    I have social anxiety and I am really interested in how you overcame it. Hoping to see your next article about it!

    • Mike

      March 2, 2015 at 11:09 pm

      Hey Ali, I really appreciate that you cared to leave a comment even though I haven’t posted anything in a while… I promise to write more soon!

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